Having babies is the worst. Not only do they basically deprive you of any freedom for a good eighteen years, but they also make it impossible for you to have a good night’s sleep. Let’s not forget having to pass a bundle of joy the size of a medium watermelon through your vagina if you’re a lady.

Think about it guys, you cringe at the thought of sticking a fork inside your pee hole. Well, take that fork and multiply its diameter by 10 (or something, I’m too lazy for good math right now) and we’re on the same page, almost.

No wonder baby doctors routinely perform an episiotomy—where an incision is made below the vagina to facilitate delivery—to prevent vaginal tearing and the like. Thing is, when that incision is stitched back up, you better make damn sure it heals right. If not, you could end up with a fucked-up vagina.

A woman from Canada is suing her gynecologist for making her vagina too tight to have sex. Basically, ruining her life.

The new mother waited the recommended 6 weeks before having sex with her husband to make sure everything was okay with her vagina, but when she went to get the go-ahead from a second doctor, she was informed that the stitches had come apart leaving behind a nice big surprise: “a fairly rigid strip of scarring and narrowing of the vagina preventing penetration.”

A sentence that has now replaced every single nightmare and fear I’ve ever had.

The lady was given two choices: reconstructive surgery or a daily regiment of vaginal dilation exercises. She chose the latter with no luck. Still unable to have sex with her husband due to the pain, after giving birth in 2010, the sexually frustrated mom is seeking monetary recompense in the amount of $225,000 for “physical harm, pain, stress, frustration and loss of enjoyment of life.”

Obviously, the husband is getting in on the action too. For his part, he’s seeking $75,000 in damages for his “pain and suffering.”

You’d think someone’s ability to have intercourse would be worth more than $225,000, but then again we’re talking about a couple of Canadians here and from what I’ve heard, they’re a less litigious folk than Americans. It’s the relaxing lifestyle with the booze, pussy, and maple syrup. It doesn’t do much for your arteries, but at least you don’t have a lawyer on speed dial.
 



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