So a girl I had sex with once reported her pregnancy to social media today, to which I responded, “I hope it isn’t mine, because if my sperm has the athletic ability I have, it’d take about ten years to climb up your fallopian tube.” To which everyone laughed and laughed except the girl who I had sex with, because let’s face it, you’re not supposed to have sex with your half-sister…and even if she wasn’t my half-sister, she’d probably be ashamed. That’s just how I roll, motherfuckers…
 



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