Let’s get back into the nitty gritty of judging movies based solely on their names and maybe their posters or commercials, if I’ve seen them. Totally valid form of film criticism.

DELIVERY MAN

Vince Vaughn is back in another comedy that makes you feel uncomfortable with the idea of being near Vince Vaughn. Isn’t it kind of bizarre that he’s constantly playing comedic roles that are kind of slimy and make you not want to know him as a person?

ENDER’S GAME

I never read Ender’s Game, and I know next to nothing about it, so I’d love it if someone would tell me if this adaptation is happening in 2013 because we haven’t had the effects technology to make it until now, or because we’ve literally adapted every single other potential sci-fi blockbuster in print?

BYZANTIUM

This is a vampire movie. I think I saw a commercial for it somewhere once; it’s like…chick vampires. Like a mom and daughter vampire. I bet there’s implied lesbianism. That’s weird, when you think about it. I really have nothing to say this week, do I?
 



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