The answer, of course, is “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid…
For some reason, I hadn’t seen the video in ages and forgot the lineup of singers other than Bono (who has the head-scratching, “Well, tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you!” line that I’ve never been able to figure out).
In the video, that line works even better because it follows the duet with Simon LeBon and Sting, and suddenly there’s a young Bono standing behind them and wearing Uncle Jessie’s haircut from “Full House”…and the three of them share one mike as Bono belts his weird line out.
Even stranger, Sting never gets his own line—he’s just singing background for everyone else, which was insane because he was the biggest star there. Here’s what kills me about this video (other than George Michael’s haircut): Not only does Paul Young bat leadoff, they go back to him for another solo in the middle!
PAUL FUCKING YOUNG!
They had the lead singer of the hottest band at the time (Duran Duran’s LeBon), the best singer of the entire decade (Sting) and a budding superstar (Bono)…and they kicked things off with Paul Young?!
I was trying to think of a sports equivalent of this—like John Starks getting named to the ‘92 Dream Team, then starting over Michael Jordan and Clyde Drexler—but it’s impossible. It’s too ludicrous. You can’t come up with the sports equivalent of Paul Young getting the nod over Bono, Sting and Simon LeBon.
I watched this clip 10 times in two weeks and still couldn’t figure it out. And you wonder what I do all day.