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I have come to the conclusion that a girl is not a girl if she doesn’t squirt. So what if she’s got shitty implants and a bad face? The bitch squirts…and you ain’t shit if you can’t squirt. Seriously.

I talk to girls under 25 all the time and they all squirt. Something that was never a thing when I was under 25. In fact, when I made a girl squirt in the 90s, I thought she pissed on me, so I pissed on her back.

It’s only been in recent years that squirting has been the hottest thing in sex, and I’m glad for that…even if the soiled mattress I found in the back alley and sniffed for an hour made me vomit.
 



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