Google is currently the only way any of us are able to know anything. Even stuff you didn’t know you wanted to know you can know if you Google it. So if you Google “the worst thing ever” like I did, you’ll discover these images, which I guess are the seven worst things in the world, ever, since they are the first seven images that search gets you. I wouldn’t have guessed, but who am I to argue with Google?

7. TWILIGHT AS STAR WARS

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I can see why people would dislike this—it’s a beloved movie franchise corrupted by a despised movie franchise. Is it worse than smallpox? Who am I to judge?

6. OLD MAN

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It’s worth noting that we’re all mortal. Facing your own mortality is not easy to do and, in fact, something few people ever come to terms with. Humanity as a whole is often desperately afraid of its own natural conclusion, and the one certainty all of us will face as we experience life. This old man looks like he might be pantsless.

5. RANDOM LADY

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Serial killers really do look just like anyone else; you couldn’t pick one out of a crowd or anything. Is this lady a serial killer? Well, she’s labeled the worst thing ever, so hopefully she did something pretty awful to merit that. 

4. CAMEL TOE

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In fairness, I was surprised at the lack of porn that showed up when I did this image search. Safe search was off and everything, because I never use a seatbelt when I Google. I want that shit raw and ridiculous. Anyway, this here is some camel toe, which I concede looks very uncomfortable. You should really adjust your pants if this kind of thing is going on, because either for you or for witnesses, this thing is apparently more damaging than chemical warfare.

3. SOME KID

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I’ve seen pictures of Hitler as a boy, and this isn’t him. It is also likely not Stalin, Michael Bay, Pol Pot, Jeffery Dahmer, George Bush Jr. or Ashton Kutcher. Who is this kid? He has some serious shit to answer for.

2. INSANE BEAR

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Is that woven from giant hemp ropes? Is it made of meat? I don’t know what’s happening here. Probably this bear comes to life under the full moon and feasts on souls. Really, what else could it do? It’s the second worst thing ever. Ever.  Hurricanes, volcanos, plagues, One Direction, everything.

1. MARVEL VS. CAPCOM TATTOO

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In case you can’t see or can’t tell, that’s a kid showing off a tattoo of the player selection screen from what I believe is Marvel vs. Capcom 2. It might be part 3, I dunno. At this point, it doesn’t matter because this is THE MOST AWFUL THING IN THE WORLD. Google the worst thing ever and this is the top image. This kid’s tattoo is now worse than Hitler AIDS with an Ebola chaser and a side of those Sarah McLachlan animal abuse commercials plus planet-wide starvation and poverty.

Good thing you know that now.


 



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