It’s only been seven months since Angelina Jolie shared with the world that she’d cut off her boobs because she might get breast cancer in the future. Her precognitive foresight earned her resounding kudos from every female and from the men who like to “here-here” whatever women say for fear of being cut off from sex. That shit is powerful. 

I remain concerned that Angelina’s decision to lop off appendages pre-disease might convince people to get a little overzealous in treating their potential future illnesses. I already lost one friend who learned of heart disease in his family to a vegetarian diet. He used to be fun, now he just smells like salad. The idea of losing millions of tits on speculation is some kind of boob-lover’s nightmare. That probably sounds selfish and chauvinistic. That’s how you know it’s honest.

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