Behati Prinsloo has had sex, probably unprotected sex, because people don’t use condoms, especially not white people…which pretty much means she’s dead, at least to me, but not dead enough to still get half-naked and model in her underwear…because I guess she’s not dead in body, but only dead in spirit and in vagina…a vagina that I will likely never get the opportunity to fist in anger, trying to punch out the Adam Levine cooties, before going down on her for 3 to 8 months…without taking a break for air.

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