An upcoming app for Google Glass called “Race Yourself” allows you to do just that! Not only can you see yourself running or cycling your previous personal record time, you can also escape from attacking zombies, dash from runaway boulders, and create videogame-like challenges for yourself on the ski slopes!
I knew it! I fucking knew it!
I’ve been paranoid about hackers remotely turning on my webcam and spying on me for ages. I was concerned about creepy dudes and or stalker exes infecting my computer with malware that would allow them to turn on my webcam and watch me get dressed or masturbate. Mostly masturbate.
Some people would accuse me of whacked-out paranoia, because I’ve been putting a piece of tape over my webcam when it’s not in use for years, but incidents involving hackers remotely turning on webcams have become more and more prevalent.
Webcam spying is no longer the sole concern of pervy nerds, not when the FBI gets involved and develops software that makes it that much easier to catch you with your hand down your pants:
The FBI has been able to covertly activate a computer’s camera—without triggering the light that lets users know it is recording—for several years, and has used that technique mainly in terrorism cases or the most serious criminal investigations, said Marcus Thomas, former assistant director of the FBI’s Operational Technology Division in Quantico, now on the advisory board of Subsentio, a firm that helps telecommunications carriers comply with federal wiretap statutes.
Sure, the FBI is probably not concerned with Joe Blow and his fapping habits, but if the FBI has this tech it means that everyday hacker types are already way ahead of the game. I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time in front of my laptop and I wouldn’t want just anyone—voyeurs, sex blackmailers, spurned exes—to be able to see what I’m doing when I’m on my computer.
Better paranoid than sorry, I say. Especially if you’ve ever dated anyone who has even the most basic hacking skills. Cover that webcam now, there’s a Band Aid over mine as I type this.
Your typical commercial: something that shows how your life will be made easier with the product in question, suggest you might get laid, or at least feel an adrenaline rush.
Not so with Samsung. Sure, they could show you why you need a smart watch...or they could show you an entire history of nerd icons from Dick Tracy to the Power Rangers using a wrist communicator, then be all “Guess what? It finally exists now! You. Future. Living in.”
Okay, so I probably shouldn’t be writing their taglines any time soon. But check out the awesomely geeky montage below…
Virtual Reality is one of those technologies that came out strong and got everyone excited, but never really panned out. We saw it used in movies to fight evil programs and have computer sex. It has been used by the military to train soldiers for decades. Thirty years later, however, I’m still playing videogames and masturbating in 2D using a monitor. Thanks for nothing, technology.
Thanks to a company called Oculus VR, some of those promises are about to become a reality. The company is currently working on Oculus Rift, a head mounted virtual reality display that has been in the hands of developers for a few months. A number of videogame companies have endorsed the product and promised to support it. However, as of right now there is only one thing anyone cares about: 3D Interactive Virtual Reality Porn.
We’ve seen promising interactive porn technologies in the past. I personally had the pleasure of using the VStroker system which lets you interact with porn using a motion sensor strapped to the end of a Fleshlight. I laughed, I cried, and I set some personal masturbatory records.
If you coupled this with a virtual reality system like the Oculus Rift, you would have the makings of one hell of a good evening. Somebody already figured this out and made a fake Oculus Rift commercial that depicts exactly what I plan on doing with it.