I’ve decided to be a sperm donor, but not the traditional kind that goes to the sperm bank and jerks off for money. I want to be a philanthropic sperm donor who gives needy lesbians jars full of my sperm, for them to put into their vaginas to make themselves some babies. I figure I am just doing my part…you know, it’s the least I can do for the lesbians…you know, after years of them hating me for having a penis.

I generally have no tolerance for things that claim they don’t want penis when I am convinced they really do want penis, but are just confused about penis because a penis hurt them, physically or emotionally…but I’m ignorant.

What it comes down to is that I’m helping people, and that’s what this life is about. I can sleep better at night…but they may not when they realize the sperm I gave them is not very good quality.

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