If girls who run away from home to elope with politicians and other showbiz gossip excite you, especially while doing some modeling bullshit for Esquire magazine, whose writers I assume will ask Heart Evangelista how it feels to be estranged from her family and not what we really want to know…and that’s whether she has an “inny” or an “outty” vagina, because mainstream media never gives me what I want, it never gives me the facts I need, it just blinds my judgment with retarded puppets, and makes me want to eat Oreos and other heavily advertised treats…when all I really want to know is the size of Heart Evangelista’s labia.

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