Izabel Goulart is really good at Instagram…from her killer fucking bikini body to her fitness…I think I may be in love. I think this is the Brazilian object of my desire…who I want to sing love songs to and romance like the next great love story, one that movies will be based on…movies like “Ass Rimming Part 19: Enter The Brazilian Dragon,” not that I know if Brazil even has dragons, but you get what I’m saying…and that is that I’ve never felt a love like this before…that I cherish this love and that I’ve learned to love again…because she’s fucking amazing…roses and rim jobs and marriage, people…that’s all I see.

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