Wow! I’m getting hot and bothered with this Liz Hurley bitch…even at 50-years-old and all menopausal and shit…she still has it in her to get manhandled by dudes with expensive watches in front of everyone…to add some kind of spice to her life, because I guess her vagina hasn’t completely dried up yet…and even if it did, she could use lube to trick a motherfucker into thinking it’s still functional. I mean, with a body like that, dry sex would still be fun, and in my defense dry sex is all I know, because I have this skill I call “making even the most lubricated bitch dry.” Some dudes make girls get their period, all fertile and hormonal. I make girls hit menopause early…it’s my signature move.

All this to say, Liz Hurley’s still got it going on.

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