When an argument ends with someone’s dick in a mouth, it’s usually a good thing. Either the conflict has been resolved and make-up sex has been initiated, or both parties realize the long-standing sexual tension and start putting wieners in various places.

For two British men arguing about the volume of an Xbox, one man’s dick ending up in the other’s mouth was more of a terrifying horror story than the plot summary of an amateur porno.

39-year-old Richard Henderson was in his home playing with his Xbox when his neighbor, 41-year-old Jason Martin asked him to turn the volume down. Henderson refused and the two men started fighting. After a few punches were exchanged, Martin seized the opportunity and went in for the coup de grâce: he bit off Richard’s dick.

Henderson was rushed to the hospital and surgeons were able to reattach his penis, but he described the pain and trauma as being the most intense suffering he’s ever gone through. He stated:

“My willy was not attached to the rest of my body. I have never experienced that kind of pain to this day and I don’t want to experience it ever again.”

Later that day, Martin was arrested and charged with assault. He was adamant about his innocence and was certain the facts would set him free. While in court, Martin had these words for the jury:

“I have only got a couple of teeth in the lower part of my mouth. I can’t even bite into a hard-boiled egg. I am not homosexual and there is no way I would put a man’s penis in my mouth. Even the thought of it makes me sick.”

Nevertheless, he was caught with blood around his mouth and the man he was fighting with was in the hospital with a bitten-off penis. After failing to prove Henderson bit his own penis off in a fit of rage, Martin was found guilty and is to be sentenced this October. Justice!

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