Ever since I saw a poster of a blonde bombshell straddling a lime green Kawasaki motorcycle hanging up on a friend’s bedroom wall, I knew that guys had a special relationship with motor vehicles. I just had no idea how special that relationship could be.

Edward Smith of Yelm, Washington, is a prime example of how excited dudes can get around cars and trucks. Smith, 62, is a self-proclaimed mechaphile and he’s known for the last 45 years, after loosing his virginity to a neighbor’s Volkswagen Beetle, that his heart and loins would always yearn for bumpers and hoods instead of boobies and ass.

Not only is Edward a mechaphile, but he’s also kind of a slut; a car slut who has fucked over 1,000 vehicles. No word yet on whether consent was given by each and every vehicle.

Edward has had enough of fucking every pretty shinny he fancies. He’s finally ready to settle down with one very special car friend, Vanilla, a classic Volkswagen Beetle, has been the recipient of Eddy’s man love on-and-off for the last thirty years:

“When I hold Vanilla in my arms, there’s a powerful energy that comes from her in response to that. There’s something about Vanilla that I can’t fully express on an emotional level,” Smith said of his car friend.

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