What the hell do you tell your kids? That Santa isn’t real? Or that he is real and he’s dry humping that painted platypus you love so much onstage? Miley Cyrus spent her stage time at a benefit concert dirty dancing with her cranky midget in between grinding her ass on St. Nick’s skinny. I guess that’s enough to get Miley onto Santa’s nice list this year, as if taking Kringle sperm on the backside of her elf costume wasn’t enough. Go explain that to your kids.

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