Miley Cyrus wants her man back. And she’s not letting her spastic back or Bieber clone looks get in the way of retrieving the Hemsworth brother who left her for a much hotter Eiza Gonzalez. Eiza had the added allure of not talking like a retired smoker at the Horseshoe Casino. But Miley still pined for her man. So when she heard he was single again a few weeks ago, she started texting him seductive messages like “LOLzz,” “Hahaha,” and “Wassup playa???” in a campaign to win back his mind as well as his cock. If Liam can work with therapists to remove the image of Miley humping ungrateful midgets, there’s no reason why these two can’t be happy once more.

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