You can take away a woman’s husband, take away her employer, but you can never take away her nipples. I think Obama said something like that in one his speeches. He’s right too. Because no matter what Miranda Kerr loses, or, you know, spits away because she can do better, she’ll still have those damn nipples. They’re like that new Coin Card that unifies all your credit cards into one. The purchasing power of Miranda Kerr’s little titties is massive. There’s not a city in this world where she can’t book a hotel room, catch a show, and order a steak just by taking off her top. You try unbuttoning your shirt at the Four Seasons and see how far that gets you. You, sir, are no Miranda Kerr.