A crappy car and a hot girl without a top on. That’s all a man really needs to be happy in this life. Maybe the new PlayStation 4 and a Miller Lite six-pack. A decent sweatshirt is pretty handy actually, also that cold shit you spray on your feet when they’re itching. It’s hard to go without that. You could really use a friend who can cover for you when your hot girl without her top on is wondering why your crappy car wasn’t in your driveway last night when she was spying on you because you forgot it was your two-month dating anniversary or some shit like that. Also, a basketball even just for dribbling around indoors, I’m not sure I’d want to live in a world without that. And bacon. I fucking love bacon. And bourbon should never be a stranger. A crappy car, a hot girl without a top on, PlayStation 4, beer, a decent sweatshirt, athlete’s foot spray, a friend who will lie for you, a basketball, bacon, and bourbon. That’s all a man really needs to be happy in this life. Also, a dog and a well-worn pair of sneakers and hardcore pornography.