My new play is the fake auto-correct. My favorite is repeatedly writing “Let’s bang, let’s bang, let’s hang, sorry autocorrect”…but that’s some vanilla shit. The ultimate, if you’re talking to the right girl, is “hey, I want to bend you over like the hooker that you are and shove my fist in your ass so hard you shit yourself all over my face, all while squealing like a pig”…and following up with “OMG AUTOCORRECT!” The texting her what you meant to say was “hey, I want to go out for Chinese food and a movie, are you down?” and then blaming the iPhone for being so crazy and having a mind of it’s own.

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