As you’ve no doubt noticed, I am smooth as shit. It’s a skill. A skill I will now share with you by letting you enjoy some of my more awesome pick-up lines. No need to thank me.
1. Are you an angel? Because I always wanted to have sex with an angel.

2. Are your legs tired? Because if so, it’ll be hard for you to run away from my engorged penis.

3. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I show you my ball sack with a smiley face doodled on it?

4. If you were a booger, I’d pick you first and give you a quick lick when no one was looking. Ooh, salty!

5. My love for you is like gonorrhea; it fills my cock to bursting

6. Did it hurt? When you got shot with that sweet titty ray gun that gave you those sweet titties? Those are sweet titties.

7. Hey, didn’t I see your picture in the dictionary under “fucktastic”?

8. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I see you with your pants off? It helps jog my memory. Vagina does, I mean.

9. If I were writing the dictionary I’d put “fuck” and “u” together. Get it?

10. Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. I would have been here sooner but I was in jail for rape.  Anyway, Joey Right, rapist. That’s me. 

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