With the right villain, movies can scare audiences to death, and just the idea of the bad guy in question can give even the most macho man nightmares. On the other hand, some villains just plain aren’t that scary.
5. FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER, “FRANKENSTEIN”
Take Frankenstein's monster from the classic 1931 film, for instance. He’s slow-moving. He’s afraid of fire. He’s a nitwit whose head isn’t sewn on quite right. Get it? Sewn on?
4. CARRIE WHITE, “CARRIE”
The title character in the 1976 movie is only scary for one scene, and that’s only because a bunch of jerkwads dumped pig blood on her head. Was anyone actually ever scared of Carrie White? All it took to defeat her was to be a decent human being so she wouldn’t lash out in the first place. Problem solved.
3. DAWN O’KEEFE’S VAGINA, “TEETH”
Let’s be real, here. The chick's sabre-tooth vagina is really only a danger if you have sex with her. She can’t run around town killing people with her vagina teeth. She’s totally harmless to the majority of the human population. There’s no reason to be scared, guys! Just pick a different girlfriend.
2. JABBA THE HUTT, “RETURN OF THE JEDI”
How did Jabba ever get so many minions? Why does anyone even listen to a word he says? I hate to fat shame anyone, but Jabba had a serious problem. He literally looked like a pile of sludge. He could barely move.
His lackeys were kind of difficult to take on, but on his own, he’s harmless. You could even taunt him by poking him with a stick, and he couldn’t do so much as grunt and wave his short little arms in your general direction.
Ugly? Yes. Scary? Nah.
1. THE PHANTOM, “THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA”
To explain why The Phantom isn’t nearly as scary as he’s made out to be will only take a moment: he’s a sappy, love-struck fool.
He is capable of causing people harm, and he does a little bit, but he has such a weakness for Christine that he never stood a chance. He’s far too lovey-dovey to be a truly frightening villain. Sorry, bud. But don’t be sad! The organ music was pretty scary! That was a good touch. You weren’t an absolute failure.